You must understand this, my beloved: let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger; for your anger does not produce God’s righteousness. James 1: 19, NRSV.
Holy Father, we come before You today, to give You thanks for giving us an opportunity to praise You with our lips. Please teach us how to use these same lips to bless each other as we study Your Word today. In the name of Jesus we pray. Amen.
Our Scripture for today offers some mighty wonderful advice. How much pain we could abate by giving heed to these “Words of the LORD.” Oftentimes, if we were “quick to listen,” we would not even speak! Sometimes, after hearing what the other person had to say, we realize, that all they needed, was for someone to listen to them. All some people need, is a sympathetic ear. But many are so anxious to be heard, that we cannot afford to take the time to listen, to what others have to say. Some of the best conversations I have engaged in, were with people who had a lot that they could contribute to the conversation, but who were more willing to hear what was being said, than to be heard.
It is as we slow down, that we can really hear what the other person is saying. Listening is an art, in my opinion, of the highest calibre. Slowing down, is an internal feature of the art of listening. The next time you are engaged in a conversation, monitor yourself. Do you find yourself preparing an answer for when it is your time to speak? Are you becoming impatient with the person who is speaking, because he or she is taking too long? Have you already decided that nothing that the person says, is going to change your mind on the subject? More than likely, you are not listening. You are running ahead, mentally. When you find yourself doing any of these things, it is time to slow down, and listen! Do not be too anxious to speak. How many of us have regrets because we spoke before we should have spoken. Or, because we spoke, when we should have remained silent! “Be slow to speak,” is very good advice!
Our text for today also admonishes us about being “slow to anger.” We very often give a “harsh word” when we answer hastily! “Count to ten” before you speak, is the advice we are given when we are angry. I believe it is a good advice at all times. Every time we are going to open our mouths, to say something, “count to ten.” And I would add, count slowly. I cannot guarantee that under all circumstances, and with all kinds of personality types the reaction will be the same. But one thing is certain, you will have nothing to lose!
When you feel yourself becoming angry, stop and ask yourself , “Why am I feeling this way?” More often than not, it is all about us, having our way. Sometimes, no one has done us any harm. If we should stop and analyze the reason for our anger, we may discover that it has nothing to do with the subject under discussion; or with the person that we are feeling angry with. On the other hand, maybe your anger is in order. Maybe it is justified. Maybe you have been wronged. But if you go into the discussion of the matter, angry, you have begun the fight, losing. Usually, when we are angry we do not allow wisdom to be our guide. Our thoughts are influenced by our state of mind. Very often, our reasoning is not coherent. Under these circumstances, there is nothing to be gained. Remember, “your anger does not produce God’s righteousness.” We do not bring glory to God, by reacting in anger!
In Proverbs 15: 11, we read: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (NRSV). This advice works! It takes two to quarrel. If one person is in a bad mood, and speaks out of term, and the other person, follows suit, we can expect things to spiral out of control. But what a wonderful thing to hear, and see, when one of the two, in a very subdued voice, responds in kindness. If you have never witnessed this reaction, you have missed quite a sight! People walk way, jaws drop wide open, eyes well up with tears. Why? Because someone reacted in a way that was not expected!
May God give us the wisdom, the love, and the patience, to take care of our relationships by keeping our answers soft!