Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Ecclesiastes 4: 9-11, NIV.
Merciful God, it was You who said, “it is not good that man should be alone.” Thank You for pairing us up. As we look at the wedding vow, under the guidance of Your Holy Spirit, we pray that You will come very close and teach us aspects of married life that we did not see before. In the blessed name of Jesus Christ we pray. Amen.
It is a wonderful thing to have a good spouse in the time of sickness. It is not only the fact that You receive help from your spouse; what makes help meaningful is how it is administered. A good spouse will take care of you, in love. And love makes any medicine work, because it is accompanied by the miracle-working balm of hope! Our Scripture for today is one of my all time favorites! Let us look at it portion by portion and see what light the Holy Spirit will shed on our study today. Remember, I am applying this to a marriage situation. Without reading into the text more than is intended, I will look at these broader concepts, from a more narrow perspective, that of spouses. None of the comments are intended to minimize being single. This is intended as biblical, preventive measures, for those that are married.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up.“ When two become one, it is hard to enjoy anything by yourself. I am sure I am not talking only for myself. Your life becomes so wrapped up with the other person’s life that their pain becomes your pain. If they are physically ill, your only interest and desire, is to see them feeling well again. In the KJV, it says “the one can lift his fellow, the original word for fellow can also mean: knit together! I believe that spouses, in God’s plan, were to become so knit together, that it would be impossible, not to help the other person to get up. Once one has helped the other to get up, they can now lean on each other.
“But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” In times of illness, some people become very emotional, very needy. What better time to show our unconditional love to a spouse that is in such a situation. Just being there with him or her makes a world of a difference. Instead of getting someone to “sit” with him or her, after work, why not be there yourself, and only have hired help in special cases where an experienced worker is required. I do not mean staying at home and not going to work when you have to. If you can afford to do that, how wonderful! But most people cannot afford to do that in today’s economy.
We also need to make provision for the spouse caretaker. Some spouses are so fretful, that watching their husband or wife suffering, becomes unbearable for them, even if it is for a short period of time. In these special cases, a family member, a very close friend, or paid caretaker, preferably of the same sex, should come for periods of time so that the spouse that is well can be alleviated for a time, from the pain of watching his or her loved one suffer.
“Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?” Now, in health – I truly believe that spouses should occupy the same bed, unless for reasons known only to them, they have agreed to occupy separate beds. If it is a mutual decision, that is fine. However, I believe that more marriages have failed because of a two-bed arrangement that was decided upon arbitrarily, in a moment of anger, by one of the spouses (usually the wife – sorry ladies! But some husbands also adopt this measure!). Dear ones, the heat generated from lying down together, creates a healthy, emotional, fire, that helps to keep our hearts warm in spite of the storms of life that we might be facing. Remember, if it was “not good” for us “to be alone” in a perfect world, how much less, the world, in the condition it is in today!
Listen to some admonition from the Word of God: “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7: 3-5). Keep warm together spouses, and close the door to temptation!