So the boys grew. And Esau was a skillful hunter, a man of the field; but Jacob was a mild man, dwelling in tents. And Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob. Genesis 25: 27, 28, NKJV.
Dear God, we need Your wisdom to enable us to be good parents. Please do not stop working with us until we learn to do it right. This we ask in the blessed name of Jesus Christ, our Savior and Lord. Amen.
This is a problem that we encounter in many families. It sometimes exists in a rather subtle form; and sometimes it can even be unconscious. It is a problem that causes much pain to those who are affected by it. This problem is described in the following manner: “And Isaac loved Esau because he ate of his game, but Rebekah loved Jacob.” Each parent had his and her “favorite” child.
It appears that one child had traits that appealed to one parent, while the other child had traits that appealed to the other. While it seems that Isaac’s preference for Esau was very obvious (“because he ate of his game”); Rebekah’s preference for Jacob seemed to be more subtle. And yet it would appear as if each child knew where he stood with each parent.
What is very unfortunate, in this particular case, is that the parents’ wrong doing eventually led to conniving, and later deceit, and could have caused the death of one of their sons! Thank God for His mercy! I believe that a very good rule of thumb for parents, is to follow Christ’s example when dealing with our children: Extend unconditional love and mercy to all. When we begin to play favorites; and start dealing with them according to what they deserve, we have missed a great opportunity to be like the LORD.
The psalmist says of the LORD, “He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities” (Psalm 103: 10). The minute we begin to rationalize why we love our children, we begin to depart from Christ’s principle of unconditional love. We tend to love those we admire (because they are everything we are not, but had hoped to be; or, because we have so much in common with them).
There is not much said about Isaac’s nature. However, there is one outstanding comment to his character, and that is how obedient he was; to the point of death (see Genesis 22)! He was also very good at business (26: 12-16). You could say that he was more given to using his brain, than his brawn. There is another piece of information that speaks about how close he was to his mother: “Then Isaac brought her (Rebekah) into his mother Sarah’s tent; and he took Rebekah and she became his wife, and he loved her. So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death” (24: 67). I do not find any evidence that he was an outgoing person who loved the out of doors. Perhaps he admired Esau, because he was just the opposite of himself.
Rebekah was a good hostess. She was very willing to serve, and could recognize a good opportunity when she saw one. She also knew how to take advantage of it (see Genesis 24). She and Jacob seemed to have these characteristics in common (25: 24-29). Therefore, she seemed drawn to him because of their similarities.
If we can learn to love people just because of who they are, and especially those closest to us, what a difference for good, we can make in their lives! It would help to contemplate the way Jesus loves us. Then, by His grace, let us “go and do likewise” (Luke 10: 37)!
NOTE: These counsels are shared from a Biblical, not a clinical, perspective.