The Power Of A “Soft Answer”

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, but the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness. Proverbs 15: 1, 2, NKJV.

Dear God, please teach us to use the gift of speech wisely, that we may bring honor to You, and bless others. In the name of Jesus Christ we pray. Amen.

Our text for today is familiar to many people. I believe parents use it a lot during the “growing up” years of the family. We are constantly reminding our children that it takes two to make an argument, with the hope that one of the children will take the hint and be quiet. But sometimes being quiet can be misinterpreted for “ignoring” and can create as much problems as a “harsh word.”

So let us listen to a soft answer and see what makes it so powerful! For this we will go to the story of Nabal and his wife Abigail, which is found in the book of 1 Samuel, chapter 25. We find a very revealing introduction to this story:  “Now there was a man in Maon whose business was in Carmel, and the man was very rich. He had three thousand sheep and a thousand goats. And he was shearing his sheep in Carmel. The name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail. And she was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance; but the man was harsh and evil in his doings. He was of the house of Caleb” (1, 2). I have often wondered why the last sentence was added to the introduction. It does not help the reputation of the house of Caleb, one of my favorite Bible characters. One of these days we will try to find out the reason that information was added.

Nabal’s name means “Fool.” It will soon become obvious why. The question in my mind is, which was first – the behavior or the name? It really does not make much of a difference. Living with such a name could create a vicious circle. As a baby, not knowing the full implication of being called a fool, may not have much effect on the individual. But as he or she grows and the understanding of the name becomes clear, it will obviously create problems. The individual will either try to save him or her(self), by becoming aggressive and refusing to accept the name. Or, he or she could give in, lose his or her true self, and accept the name. Both situations are sad, but the latter, sadder by far!

His wife’s name was Abigail. A possible meaning of her name is:  “My Father is Rejoicing.” That could account for many positive features in Abigail’s character. For the birth of a girl child, at the time this story is written to cause her father to rejoice is, in itself, a noteworthy accomplishment. The Bible describes her as “of good understanding and beautiful appearance” while her husband is described as “harsh and evil in his doings” (3b). What a contrast! As our story develops, both Nabal and Abigail speak. Immediately, all the circumstances surrounding their upbringing becomes evident.

Nabal, obviously accustomed to fighting for everything he has ever called his own, is not willing to share his belongings – not even with those who have been kind to him. When David sent his men to ask a favor of Nabal (5b-8), listen to his response:  “Then Nabal answered David’s servants, and said, ‘ “Who is David, and who is the son of Jesse? There are many servants nowadays who break away each one from his master. Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat that I have killed for my shearers, and give it to men when I do not know where they are from?” ‘ (10). Whether or not Nabal is aware of David’s situation, this is no way to treat someone who has been good to you and yours (see verses 15, 16). David’s reaction to this response was:  ” ‘ “Every man gird on his sword” ‘ ” (13). He was ready for the slaughter!

Then Abigail spoke. Surely, one whose birth brought rejoicing must have been accustomed to hearing words of endearment and encouragement. Now she puts this into practice. Her words to David are quite lengthy, so I will only mention parts of it, ” ‘ “Please forgive the trespass of your maidservant. For the LORD will certainly make for my lord an enduring house, because my lord fights the battles of the LORD, and evil is not found in you throughout your days. Yet a man has risen to pursue you and seek your life, but the life of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of the living with the LORD your God; and the lives of your enemies He shall sling out, as from the pocket of a sling. And it shall come to pass, when the LORD has done for my lord according to all the good that He has spoken concerning you, and has appointed you ruler over Israel, that this will be no grief to you, nor offense of heart to my lord, either that you have shed blood without cause, or that my lord has avenged himself. But when the LORD has dealt well with my lord, then remember your maidservant” ‘ ” (28-31). She humbles herself before him and acknowledges him as king, even though at this time he is a refugee. She speaks of all his virtues. She prophesies his prosperity. She humbly asks to be remembered when his day comes!

David’s response to her: ” ‘ “Then David said to Abigail: “Blessed is the LORD God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me! And blessed is your advice and blessed are you, because you have kept me this day from coming to bloodshed and from avenging myself with my own hand. For indeed, as the LORD God of Israel lives, who has kept me back from hurting you, unless you had hurried and come to meet me, surely by morning light no males would have been left to Nabal” ‘ ” (32-35)!

Her soft answer had saved the day! Her lfe and the life of their househod was spared because of her “soft” response. It is not only the tone of our voice, but also the content of our speech, that constitutes a “soft answer.” May we learn to speak softly, and wisely, to each other!

NOTE:  Some editing has been done to this devotional.