A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. . . . A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 17: 22; 18: 24, NKJV.
Holy Father, please help us as we look to Your Word for wisdom. Please teach us what to look for in a friend, and how to be a good friend. Above all things, help us to find in You, our Best Friend. In the name of Jesus Christ we pray. Amen.
February 14 is known in most of the world as Valentine’s Day. This is the day when we give out flowers and candy and all kinds of niceties to loved ones, family, and friends. The act of giving, because we love someone and want to show our appreciation, in, and of, itself, is not a bad thing. Let us make sure that we are not being pushed along by the crowd, and caught up in the commercial frenzy of one day. Our Scripture reminds us that, “A friend loves at all times[.]”
The two verses that I have put together to form our Scripture for today are well known and often quoted. Today, let us dig beneath the surface of these texts and see what we can find that will help us to be better friends, and learn to have a greater appreciation for the friends that God has placed in our lives.
Have any of you ever had a friend who loved you “at all times?“ Or, are you such a friend? That would mean no matter what mood you or your friend were in, or, if you were unkind to your friend, or your friend was unkind to you, or thoughtless, or selfish; or, if you represented a threat to your friend’s security, and well-being, or if your friend was a threat to you – your friend would still love you, and you would still love your friend. If you have such a friend, give God thanks for her or him every second of every day. If you are such a friend, God bless you! There are not many friends of that caliber around!
Before we continue, I would like to clarify, that, loving at all times, is not the equivalent of, allowing yourself to be abused and victimized by someone, because you love that person. Loving at all times, is loving others the way Jesus loves us, unconditionally. When we were our most unlovely, Christ died for us, and He calls us friends (John 15: 15). This is not easy, but it is possible, by the grace of God. We learn to love people even when they are unlovely. Sometimes that love is the means of redeeming a soul!
“[A] brother is born for adversity.” This seems to be a comparative statement – that there are friends who are better to us than blood relatives. That is the truth! It was true about the friendship shared by Jonathan and David. This composite Scripture speaks to the quality of that friendship. It would seem that David’s older brother was not exactly fond of him, “Now Eliab his oldest brother heard when he spoke to the men; and Eliab’s anger was aroused against David, and he said, “Why did you come down here? And with whom have you left those few sheep in the wilderness? I know your pride and the insolence of your heart, for you have come down to see the battle” (1 Samuel 17: 28).
On the other hand, Jonathan, his best friend, “loved him as his own soul” (1 Samuel 18: 1, 3; 20: 17). As I noted some devotionals earlier, this was an unconditional love that Jonathan had for David. He owed David nothing but love. On the other hand, David owed him his life. At many instances in their relationship, Jonathan could have betrayed David to his father Saul. Self- preservation could have triumphed over friendship. But God had given David favor in the eyes of Jonathan, and Jonathan’s love for David, surpassed self interests, and self-preservation. He was obviously closer to David than his own blood brothers.
But a key thought that we must not overlook is set in the midst of both texts: “A man who has friends must himself be friendly.” In spite of the fact that “a friend loves at all times,” in order for a friendship to take root and develop, the person who is befriended needs to show some response toward the befriender. Unless there is some kind of response, the friendship most likely, will not flourish! Friendship is a partnership. It takes two to keep it alive.
Let us ask God to help us to be friends in the full sense of the word, and not to take friends for granted. May we cherish our friends, and love them unconditionally, and at all times!