Then Abram said to Lot, “Let there be no strife between you and me, and between your herders and my herders; for we are kindred…” Genesis 13: 8, NRSV.
Gracious God, we love You, and we want to share Your love with our families, and with all with whom we come in contact. This we pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.
This is an admirable story! Here is Abram, Lot’s uncle, his senior. In an Eastern culture, the senior has the first word, and the last! Besides, Abram has raised Lot as his own son. So in every sense of the word, he deserved to be treated with deference. Instead, we see him acquiescing to his nephew, in order to maintain their good relationship. He did not have to do it, but he did.
Perhaps many of us could learn a lesson, or two, from Abram. In many families, parents feel they have the right to “lord it over” their children, just because, they are the parent. While there may be some validity to this practice, it does not always bring the best results. Listen to Jesus Himself, as He explains to His disciples the power of humility: “But Jesus called them to Himself and said to them, ‘You know that those who are considered rulers over the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you shall be your servant. And whoever of you desires to be first shall be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give Himself a ransom for many‘ ” (Mark 10: 42-44, NKJV, emphasis provided). Can we find a better example?
From personal experience, I found that on more than one occasion, that children and youth, were less eager to rebel, when I was willing to “tone down” and “reason” with them. Our being willing to give them the respect they deserve, does not mean that we are going to allow them to lose their respect for us; not at all! I do not believe in extremes. Nor does it reduce us in their sight. To the contrary; by empowering them, we draw them closer to us. Try it. The next time you and your child, are on the verge of a discussion, shock him or her! Instead of glaring at them, or raising your voice, gently hug them; hold them close. You do not need to say anything. Then watch your anger, as well as theirs, subside; and feel the bond between you and them, grow stronger!
This also works with spouses. The problem is, that usually, no one wants to back down! But the words of the apostle to the Ephesians is still valid today: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5: 21, NIV, emphasis provided). How hard is that? (Well, maybe it is a bit difficult; but in the strength of the LORD, you and I can do it!) When each of us are willing to give our one hundred percent – not fifty; we will begin to live together in peace, “out of reverence for Christ!” What a haven of rest our homes will become!
And we cannot go wrong, because we will be following in the footsteps of Jesus Christ!