[S]ubmitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her[.] Ephesians 5: 20-25, NKJV.
Blessed LORD, as we come into Your holy presence we ask for wisdom to understand the things that You will reveal to us today. In the holy name of Jesus we pray. Amen.
Today, as we continue with our topic, “Taking Care Of Our Relationships,” we will spend a few minutes talking about our emotional needs. I was surprised, when, in one of my classes, our instructor announced that, even in making decisions, we use our emotions. I am a big defender of emotions. Perhaps that is due to the fact, that I am a rather emotional person. I say that with no apologies. For whatever reason, some of us equate a show of emotions to weakness. Therefore, we teach our sons that, “Men do not cry.” This is so unfortunate! By doing this, we deny them their God-given right, to relieve their souls, by shedding tears. I believe it is fair enough to say, that if God thought tears were not for men, He would not have created them with the ability to cry. The fact that we all have tears, tells me, that there are times in our lives, that nothing is going to bring us the relief we need, as a good cry.I should know, I have shed many a tear, and am the better for it!
I believe that one of the greatest disadvantages of teaching people to withhold their tears, is that it tends to harden them, to some extent. I believe, that to override any God-given ability, some psychological surgery has to take place. Something has to be “removed” from our psyche. Just imagine a man who has been taught to look at tears as something that is “not good,” or not recommended, not desirable; especially at a tender age, when he does not have the ability to understand the reasoning behind the advice; it could possibly produce, a rejection of tears, or an indifference, to the tears of others, or even worse, a dislike for people who cry. This could create a very unfortunate situation in any relationship; but especially, in a relationship, where the wife is a very tender person. It could result in emotional incompatibility. While I am completely against telling little boys, or boys of any age, that crying is not for men, I believe that another side to this coin, would be to explain to the child, that while it is not recommended for men to cry, that they should not look down, or disdain, the tears of others. On another occasion we will talk about other disadvantages of suppressing our tears.
Notice how this portion of the apostle’s advice begins; with a mutual (that is what the original word implies) submission to one another. Husband to wife, and wife to husband. “in the fear of God.” In other words, as an act of reverence, and respect to God! Dear friends, I believe, that if we were aware, that as we respect each other, God’s creation, we are respecting Him, it would help to improve our relationships as spouses, and with others, as well. We would be more mindful of each other’s feelings. It would take care of some of the “raising of voices” when speaking to one another, even to our children. We often quote the submission of wives; but it is a mutual submission, in respect to God. Therefore, you can explain to your spouse, using Scripture, that as the husband respects the wife, and the wife respects the husband, they are both respecting the LORD!
When the apostle speaks directly to the wife, the word that is translated submission really means to “belong to one;” “one’s own.” That thought is clarified very nicely, in some of the verses which we will be looking at, most likely tomorrow. The fact that the wife belongs to her husband; that she is “his own,” is for him to love, and cherish, protect, and defend her. This is not something that many women would resist. It is when the “belonging to” takes on oppressive connotations, that women resist “submitting” to. And based on Scripture, as we will be studying tomorrow, they are absolutely right, in not submitting to something that was neither designed, nor ordained, by God. The most of the times, the lack of submission is not against a person; it is against “an attitude.” Note that this advice to wives, is followed by the following advice to husbands, “Husbands love your wives.” How wonderful is that! How delightful to “belong to,” someone who loves you!
We are our brothers, and sisters, keepers. We are to deal lovingly, tenderly, graciously, with each other. We must learn to listen to each other with our hearts, as well as with our heads. Our words must be uttered with the desire to bless and empower, not to weaken, nor destroy. Our tears should mean something to one another. God’s Word says that He has a “bottle” for our tears;” and that they are written in “His book “(Psalm 56: 8). Let us be very careful how we deal with one another, we are God’s creation! Let us never forget this! And let us do it in respect to the LORD, and out of love to one another!
NOTE: These thoughts are not shared from a clinical, but from a religious point of view.