Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.” 2 Corinthians 6: 14-16, NIV.
Gracious God, we know that You are no respecter of persons, and that Your love has been extended to all of us. As we study Your Word, please help us to understand the difference between prejudice, and prudence, and how to apply the latter, in our relationships. In the name of Jesus we pray. Amen.
Yesterday we launched our study on how to take care of our relationships. We touched briefly on the topic of being unequally yoked. We mentioned the importance of our homes of origin, and the way they influence our formation, and our relationships. In other words, two people who were raised in two completely different environments, with different goals in life, and different interpersonal styles, could find themselves socially, and emotionally, unequally yoked, even if they were members of the same community of faith.
Today, let us look at it from a purely religious angle. A good place to start might be with the word “yoke.” It is interesting to note that a yoke can have a double purpose. It can be used to join, to unite, to bring together, for the purpose of sharing a load, or a burden. Or, it can be used as a means of subjection; an object of servitude. Very often, relationships can represent both scenarios, one of togetherness and unity, of respect and consideration for each other. Or, they can represent a means of submitting the will of one individual to the will of the other. This could apply to almost any relationship between two individuals, or, between an individual and a group. For now, we will look at it in the relationship between spouses.
Healthy relationships thrive among healthy individuals. A sign of a truly healthy relationship, is when both persons enjoy freedom of thought and opinion; of choice and decision. Because this freedom exists, it is most likely that the two of them are willing to meet each other half way. They are willing to compromise, and respect each others’ opinion. They are willing to try things the other person’s way, because of the respect they have for each other. They are not threatened by the actions, and decisions, of the other person. There is no need to control, or, dictate to the other person.
This kind of relationship is possible when both persons love and serve the Lord; especially, when they belong to the same community of faith. Why? Because their goals are usually the same. Their code of conduct is more than likely guided by the same principles. They enjoy a common bond of fellowship with mutual believers. They are working for a common cause. They go to church, and participate, in the church services together, and the more things they do together, and have in common, the closer they are drawn together.
This is not the case in a relationship between a Christian and a non-Christian. There are usually no common spiritual goals. They are not headed in the same direction. In these cases, the yoke is almost certainly going to break as they pull in different directions, unless, somebody compromises. When the yoke breaks, the “dividing asunder,” usually causes pain, especially, if there are children involved. But even without children, I do not see how two people can live together without some kind of bond forming between them. And when, and if, it ruptures, the result is almost certainly going to produce pain.
God who created us, and put in our hearts a desire to form relationships and enjoy each other, knows what will make us happy, and healthy. And His advice to us is not to be, “unequally yoked.” Remember, “To obey is better than to regret” (1 Samuel 15: 22). My paraphrase.
Dear Barnabas, oops I mean Mabel,
Actually, I do think of you as the encourager and appreciate you on so many levels. This devotional is so close to home, I don’t know how to respond to it. I already know the ingredients of a healthy relationship, but even my parents who divorced after 30 years made a better example than I have in either of my marriages. I can see a pattern emerging as I look at your lesson today. We don’t enjoy freedom of thought and opinion, choice or decision. We don’t meet half way and try things the other person’s way, because of respect for each other. He does need to control and dictate to me and my mother. But I do think my husband loves the Lord. He was even an SDA before I was. His actions just don’t show it. He can turn on a dime and is so unpredictable, it’s impossible to know when and why. But the problem is with me. I’m the one that keeps picking men like this. And don’t know how to change it.
I’m sorry to dump all of his on you. I just had to vent. I want to be of use to the Lord and others but I am nearly at the end of my rope as they say. I have nothing left. I also recently found a breast lump. Please forgive.
May the Lord lavish His love upon you. May He build you up and equip you for all that you have before you. I pray that He will also bless and keep your family. Your sister in Christ, Terri
Dear Barnabas, oops I mean Mabel,
Actually, I do think of you as the encourager and appreciate you on so many levels. This devotional is so close to home, I don’t know how to respond to it. I already know the ingredients of a healthy relationship, but even my parents who divorced after 30 years made a better example than I have in either of my marriages. I can see a pattern emerging as I look at your lesson today. We don’t enjoy freedom of thought and opinion, choice or decision. We don’t meet half way and try things the other person’s way, because of respect for each other. He does need to control and dictate to me and my mother. But I do think my husband loves the Lord. He was even an SDA before I was. His actions just don’t show it. He can turn on a dime and is so unpredictable, it’s impossible to know when and why. But the problem is with me. I’m the one that keeps picking men like this. And don’t know how to change it.
I’m sorry to dump all of his on you. I just had to vent. I want to be of use to the Lord and others but I am nearly at the end of my rope as they say. I have nothing left. I also recently found a breast lump. Please forgive.
May the Lord lavish His love upon you. May He build you up and equip you for all that you have before you. I pray that He will also bless and keep your family. Your sister in Christ, Terri