Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies. The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. . . Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land. Proverbs 31: 10-12; 23, NKJV.
Heavenly Father and Gracious God, here we are today in Your presence. We would love to hear from You! We need You in our families, and in our lives. Please come close to us and bless us. This we ask in the holy name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
During the month of February, considered the month of Love and Friendship, I will be dedicating our devotionals to the different members of the family. Even though father is the head of the home, I decided to begin with mothers. Children will be in the middle, and finally, we will share devotionals on fathers, who are the “house-band[s]” (The Adventist Home, p. 211), that, by God’s grace, are supposed to bind our families together.
What is so unique about wives, is that even though women are often referred to as “the weaker sex,” their role in the life of both husband and child, is oftentimes, the most powerful, significant, and influential, on earth, after God’s. Their ability to love and to discipline, to nurture and to teach, to empower and to command respect, simultaneously, is nothing less than an art.
The author of this proverb is referred to as King Lemuel. I do not know of any other reference to this figure in Scripture. The proverb begins with the explanation that this was “an oracle his mother taught him” (1). Even though she warned him regarding women and strong drink, his description of an ideal woman is truly a classic. Let us discuss briefly, some of the virtues of womanhood, that he mentions in this poem, from the husband’s point of view. I say womanhood, and not wife-hood, because we are first women, and then, wives. In other words, we bring our womanly virtues to the role of wife. We do not usually acquire them, after marriage. Some may be latent, and become visible as we take on the additional roles of wife and mother.
Today, we will begin by looking at woman’s role in the life of her husband. In most translations, the profile of the wife mentioned in this parable is described as virtuous. Virtue, is one of those words that at a glance speaks only of what is good, and noble, and worthy. It leaves no space for wrong doing. Does that mean that the wife King Lemuel is referring to is perfect? Not if she is a human being. The virtue of character mentioned here is, as I see it, a decision to be her best self, for the good of those she loves. Therefore it is priceless. It is not something she puts on, like a garment, but something that comes from within: from her heart of love. Notice that, “She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.” This will become even more evident as we continue this study.
She is absolutely trustworthy. Her husband has everything to gain, and nothing to lose! One of her crowning virtues is the respect that she gives to her husband: “he sits among the elders of the land.” He holds a position of respect. I want to pause here to make a statement in this regard. Men crave respect like women crave love. God knows this. Observe the inspired words in Ephesians 5: “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (33, emphasis provided). Regardless of the differences you and your husband have, respect him, and make it easier for others to respect him. Don’t ever disrespect him in public! I don’t care what he does. Do not disrespect him in private either. What we practice at home, becomes natural in public. I am not taking sides, trust me. When I deal with husbands you will see the balance. You cannot dictate his behavior, but you are definitely responsible for yours!
Wife, much of the respect your husband receives, will be thanks to you. Don’t do anything that will cause him to feel ashamed, or belittled. Look out for his interests, and let him know that you have his back. Be his greatest fan. Tell him all the wonderful things you admire about him, frequently! When necessary, also let him know what he is doing wrong. If you can state the corrections in the affirmative, instead of the negative, it will be easier to accept. For example: “That shirt looks so nice when you wear it on the inside!” Instead of: “That shirt looks terrible hanging out of your pants!” It is so much easier to love an encouraging, and respectful, wife.
Remember wives, you are priceless! Your husbands should be the first to know!
We will continue.
NOTE: These counsels are offered from a Biblical – not a clinical, perspective.