She seeks wool and flax, and willingly works with her hands. She is like the merchant ships, She brings her food from afar. She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants. Proverbs 31: 13-15, NKJV.
Dear God and Father of humankind, we have come into Your presence to listen to Your voice. Please help us to hear You, and obey You. In the holy name of Jesus Christ we humbly pray. Amen.
Today we are going to look at the mother and wife in one of her roles within the home. Notice that I said one of her roles. A woman has multiple roles within the family, and all are of importance! Today we will look at her as a provider. Let us begin by watching her as she provides clothing for her family. The fact that she is working with wool and flax, tells us something: it is winter-time. Mothers are given to detail. Just anything is not good enough for our families. We wants the best for them. Note that what she is doing, she is doing, willingly. Attention to detail, and a willing nature, are characteristics of mothers. We enjoy giving of ourselves!
I love the fact that the king compares her to a merchant’s ship! She is full of goodies. She is a bearer of items of great value. You never know what she will produce. Her family depends on her, as people who live in remote areas depend on a merchant’s ship to bring them the things that are not produced locally (My daughter Dirma contributed this thought on dependence!). These are not only tangible things. A wife brings valuable teachings from her home of origin, which prove to be a real blessing to her immediate family! Many practices that are incorporated into our family life, are introduced by the wife. Lots of home remedies can also be traced back to the childhood home of the wife. The introduction of certain foods into the family diet, is usually, thanks to the initiative of the wife. She truly “brings her food from afar[!]”
It is said, that the work in a home never ends! That is true. If you seek, you will always find something to do. I believe the phrase “rises while it is yet night,” refers to the fact that she is up at the crack of dawn, and sometimes before, because there is always so much to do! Notice, that it is to, “provide food for her household,” that gets her up early! That is a wife and a mom for you! Are you aware, that so far, we have said nothing about what she does for herself? It is all about her family! Wives and moms take care of others, instinctively! Oftentimes this causes their health to deteriorate. But caring for others is just in our genes. We delight in taking care of others. She even cares for those who have been hired to help her. She provides “a portion for her maidservants[!]”
I take this opportunity to offer some information that I consider indispensable. You may know of wives and mothers, who do not fit this picture. There are always exceptions to the rule. What I want to share with you, is that in some cases, there are special conditions that create these exceptions. When two people enter a marriage relationship, they usually do so, knowing what is expected of them. If it is a healthy relationship, both husband and wife will know that if they need help, they can depend on one another. What I do not consider healthy, is when one individual, under the guise of “helping,” absorbs the duties of the other individual. This act tends to create total dependence of one individual upon the other. It then becomes, not a relationship of equality, but of dependence. The greatest harm in such a relationship, is that it impedes the growth of the dependent individual, and tends to create a situation of hierarchy. Any impediment to growth of an individual is never a good thing, no matter what reason is given! Any situation that endangers the condition of equality intended by the Creator (Genesis 1: 26-28), is dangerous, and should be avoided, at all costs!
If you happen to be a wife who find yourself in this category, gently take back your duties. Do it tenderly and kindly. Do not spurn what could be genuine kindness and consideration. But you owe it to yourself, to do what you can, to contribute to the overall well-being of your family. You are stronger than you think you are!
There are exceptions of individuals with health conditions that do not permit them to do their share in the home. Do not attempt to do anything that will harm you. I am not talking about such situations.
NOTE: These counsels are shared from a Biblical, not a clinical, perspective.