And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6: 4, NKJV.
Merciful God, as we come into Your presence today, we thank You for Your leading. We ask that You will keep us close by Your side, until we see You face to face. This is our prayer in the matchless name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. Amen.
Today, our devotional dedicated to fathers, makes a shift from the relationship between husband and wife, to the relationship between fathers and children. I do not believe, that we are fully aware of the important role fathers play in parenting. The term “house-band,” does not apply only to the husband’s relationship to his wife, but also to his relationship with his children. I believe that the husband and father, is the principal person, within the family structure, designated by God, to keep the family together.
In our verse for today, there are two pieces of advice: “Do not provoke your children to wrath.” and, “Bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” Let us look at them separately. We may need more than one day in order to accomplish this.
What does it men to “provoke” . . . to wrath?” I went to the dictionary for help, to find the extent of the meaning of the word “provoke.” This is what I found: “To incite to anger or resentment.” “To stir to action or feeling.” “to anger or infuriate.” “to cause to act or behave in a certain manner; incite or stimulate.” “to promote (certain feelings, esp anger, indignation, etc.) in a person.” You will notice that not all of these definitions are negative. This fact is strengthened by the following Bible verse: “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works” (Hebrews 10: 24).
Therefore, fathers, if you must provoke, let it be positive provocation. It is easy, as a parent, and especially, as a father, to take on the “bully role” when dealing with your sons, after they reach a certain age. The enemy of our souls, has coined, and perfected, the saying, that, “there is only one man in this house.” And under normal circumstances that is the truth. There is dad (the man); and son (the child or youth). Therefore, fathers should act the role – as the adult; as the one in control; as the man of the home. If your son should begin to “act up,” do not be threatened; you are in control. Firmly, and in love; notice it is not firmly, or, but firmly, and, in love, talk to your child.
Let your child know that you love him, and only want the best for him. Spend as much time with him as possible. Do not allow work, or friends, or anything, to take away from your time together. Your son needs you – as his best friend, as his example, as his hero! Do not fight with him. Befriend him! That is all he really craves! At certain periods of his life he does not know how to adequately articulate that. But as the adult, God is depending on you to read between the lines, and interpret, misleading behavior, in order to help your child. Spend much time in prayer. You need wisdom from God the Father. And your son needs you, to exercise that wisdom in dealing with him!
Boys need hugs and kisses from dad, as well as from mom. That is healthy and normal behavior between a boy and his dad. They also need to hear dad say, “I love you son.” “I am proud of you, my boy.” You are becoming a mighty fine young man!” Do not be stingy with your compliments! Help him to get all the healthy, manly, affirmation he needs from you, his dad, in a safe environment.
Tomorrow we will continue with this study.
NOTE: These counsels are shared from a Biblical, not a clinical, perspective.