Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman. . . Better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and angry woman. Proverbs 21: 9, 19, NKJV.
Dear loving God, how we need Your help as we study Your Word. Please speak to our hearts, and provide us with hope. This we ask and claim, in the holy name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
As I read these proverbs, I could not help but smile, and make the following facetious comment, to myself: Well look who is talking! Having 700 concubines and 300 wives, (1 Kings 11: 3), he also wants them to be contented! Now a Word from the Lord (the preceding words were obviously my own!). It takes all the members of a family, guided by God’s Holy Spirit, to make a really happy home. Mom can have the best of intentions. She can do all in her power to keep everyone contented, including herself. Dad, can be a good provider, and a wise disciplinarian. The children can be picture-perfect in their behavior. But unless the LORD “builds the house,” they are all laboring “in vain” (Psalm 127: 1).
Today, we want to talk about the woman in the home. A woman with, or without, children. Somehow known to her or not – woman has been voted, “Miss Congeniality.” And to a great extent, that is who we are, at heart. The wife is the one who assures her husband that he is o. k., when everyone on the outside is making him doubt his self-worth. Mom is the one who kisses the hurting fingers and bruised knees. Mom is the one who smiles on the outside while crying on the inside, in order that the children can feel safe and happy.
Most women are more than happy to do all of this, and more! However, we must not forget that, an empty well cannot provide water!If the wife and mother is expected to be all things to everyone in the home, then the wife and mother also needs to feel that she is appreciated! Feeling appreciated tends to make people feel good about themselves. And people who feel good about themselves usually treat other people with kindness and consideration.
So often women will bear many unpleasant situations, in silence, in an attempt to preserve the marriage, because she feels, that if the marriage fails, her ability to keep a husband, will be questioned. This can be a very heavy burden to bear. If unattended, such a situation could lead to anger, and built up anger can make a person quite contentious! It could also lead to more devastating situations.
I believe that the first question the husband needs to ask is: What is making my wife angry, and, or, contentious? After sickness is ruled out (there are illnesses that can cause such behaviors). Next, he needs to stop and take inventory: Was my wife always like this, but I just never made much of it? If not, when did she start acting this way? What part did I play in creating this situation? What can I do, or say, to help the situation? Above all, and along with all the other measures, he can pray. He can pray for God to open his eyes and heart, in order to see if there is something he has done to cause the situation, and if so, that God will give him the strength, and the desire, to make amends. He can pray for, and with, his wife, for God to heal her. Finally, he can pray that God might heal their relationship.
Then, whether on the “housetop,” or in the “wilderness,” being together, will be a joyous experience, and their home will become a foretaste of heaven!