Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5: 33, NKJV.
Dear Heavenly Father and LORD, please help us as we study Your Word. May we be blessed as we see the love of God manifested in our homes, by submitting to Your will. In Jesus’ name we humbly pray. Amen.
Our last devotional was dedicated to the woman in the home. Today we are looking at the man. I have said this before, but I believe it is worth saying again, with slightly different words: Men need respect, the way women need to feel loved and appreciated.
We could refer to the dynamics between men and women in a relationship, as a circle – it could be a vicious, or a virtuous, circle. We can make people, or, break them, in a relationship. People grow or they wither. It all depends on how they are treated, and how they are made to feel, within the relationship. I believe it is important to all people, to feel as if their contribution to the well-being of a relationship is appreciated, and necessary. Of course culture, and environment, and our upbringing, play a big role in the way we relate to each other.
What we said yesterday is true for both men and women: An empty well cannot provide water. Therefore, if what it takes to fill a man’s well is respect, then by God’s grace, let us make sure that they have all the respect they need, at home. Having our wells filled at home, closes the door to many temptations. And when we have respect for ourselves, it is easier for us to respect others, and for others to respect us.
A woman who wants others to respect her husband, will not criticize him in the presence of others. She will not disclose his faults to third parties. Instead, she will take them to God in prayer. This does not include information about abuse. No woman should bear abuse in silence. In seeking help for herself, she is also helping the person who is abusing her. As she brings their behavior to the attention of someone who is qualified to help them, she is doing everyone a favor.
As parents, we teach by example – good or bad. Another very important source of respect for a man, is his children. Children need heroes in their lives – male and female. It is never a good idea to criticize your husband in the presence of your children. To a great extent their respect for their father is patterned after their mothers’. Oftentimes, a man’s children is his last hope. The way they perceive him is very important to them, and to him. More often than we are aware of, for their sakes, he will desist from participating in certain undesirable behavior. I firmly believe that many marriages have been saved because of the presence of children. Many parents re-commit to each other, fall in love again, and go on to have wonderful homes, even after the children are gone!
Therefore, no matter what your husband has done to you, (once again, I insist, this is not in reference to abuse); for Christ’s sake, and for your children’s sake, forgive him, and respect him (as hard as that may be!). Remember, you are not responsible to God for his behavior, but for yours. And God’ has asked us: “let the wife see that she respects her husband.” When you see the effect your respect has on your children, and on him, you will be glad that you did.